There are certain juvenile behaviors with which we tend to put up while we’re in college or at our first jobs. Eventually, you move up and move on, but there tends to be some people who don’t quite grasp this.
If you’ve been working unbelievably hard in your post-collegiate years to have things like a 401(k) savings account, the ability to travel and a nice place to live, then some of these so-called friends will drive you up the wall.
Simply put, these people aren’t really your friends.
It’s a new year, and along with resolving to trim the fat around your waist, go ahead and trim some of the unwanted fat from your social life by nixing these five people:
1. The One-Upper
This person can never just be happy for you. You could have gotten a promotion at work or your significant other could have just done something romantic that brought your relationship to the next level; whatever it is, this person will have something to say that will steal your thunder.
On the flip side, this person also can’t just listen to your concerns because no matter what you are going through, this person has gone through worse. Whether it’s due to a competitive nature or just blatant insecurity, this person is toxic and a waste of your time and energy.
A real friend is genuinely happy for your accomplishments and will listen to your concerns without any input other than caring advice in your best interest.
2. The Chicken Little
Or, The Drama Queen.
No matter how wonderful this person’s job is or how much his or her significant other does for him or her, the sky is always falling. This person is miserable and honestly, just annoys the living crap out of you. Everything has to be some “come to Jesus” moment.
You can say until you are blue in the face that this person is overreacting, and he or she will refuse to believe you. The glass is always half-empty.
This person will pick fights with his or her significant other just to get some reassurance that the significant other cares. Similar to the fact that you can’t save the person you are dating, you also can’t save this friend.
With all the negative things already in your life that are out of your control, you don’t need this person constantly bringing you down. This person adds nothing but stress to your life and therefore, shouldn’t have a place in your life.
3. The Chronic Guilt Tripper
Been at work all day? Looking forward to that sunrise yoga class on the beach you signed up for a week ago and seriously need? Just don’t want to go out?
None of this matters to the Chronic Guilt Tripper, who refuses to grow up and get a life.
This person will make you feel ridiculously bad for not wanting to go to his or her weird work friend’s birthday party. Um, you met the guy once and don’t even remember what he looks like.
Just because the Guilt Tripper doesn’t have a life of his or her own doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to have one, either. You want to go to bed early on Saturday night and catch a sunrise yoga class, dammit.
You shouldn’t feel guilty for not getting blackout drunk with this person who still hasn’t matured past his or her Greek life days. Anyone who doesn’t understand your need for alone time doesn’t understand you, and you don’t need a friend who obligates you to hang.
4. The “Always Broke” Dude
This person is not to be confused with a friend who is working as hard as he or she can, but due to some hardship (such as a family death, sick spouse, etc.), cannot seem to make ends meet.
That would be someone with whom you split a bottle of wine once a week and try to cheer up.
I’m talking about the friend whose financial hardship is everyone else’s fault. He’s broke because his boss is stupid, or because there was a problem with his paycheck. She takes no accountability for anything that has gone wrong in her life. This person never has money and yet, you don’t see him or her working to change this.
If she can’t pay you back for that dinner you covered on your group vacation and then consistently uploads pictures to Instagram of her laying out by the pool and doing nothing, then she is not your friend.
This person is a user and you don’t need anyone in your life like that, no matter how “fun” he or she can be to hang out with.
5. The Incessant Gossiper
This tends also to be the same person who throws the proverbial stone in a glass house and judges others for behaviors of which he or she is also guilty.
It should be common sense to avoid this person, but sometimes, keeping this person around is a guilty pleasure. Sure, it might be fun to grab a drink and hear all the juicy stuff he or she has in store, but it’s only fun when you’re not the one being talked about.
If she talks with you, she’ll talk about you. And, this isn’t exclusive to girlfriends. Guys are equally capable of twisting information. Even if you don’t have anything “gossip-worthy” to tell this person about your life, he or she will still find a way to skew your words to someone else.
At a certain point in life, you just want to surround yourself with people you can trust, and this person is not one of them. A real friend may gossip with you, but it’s in small spurts. Someone who always has something to say about other people doesn’t have substance, and you don’t have time for that.
When it comes to your hard-earned, post-work happy hour, it is quality over quantity all the way.
Consider these five people the cheap wine at the bar that gives you a headache. Stop ordering it because you can afford better. And, frankly, you just deserve better.