Not putting the toilet seat down. Leaving dirty socks on the floor. Ignoring you while watching the game. These are a few of the things that our partners can do to annoy us, but did you know that these little annoyances may actually be the sign of a good relationship?
While it may seem counterintuitive, driving each other nuts from time to time can simply mean you’re comfortable enough with each other to show the true side of yourselves, according to relationship coach Kira Asatryan.
In an article published on Time.com, Asatryan explains that after you get over the “honeymoon” phase of a relationship, you begin to show your partner who you really are. So whether you’re a slob or a chatty Cathy at heart, the truth will come out out eventually.
“Expressing one’s authentic self—oddities and all—is a sign of a healthy level of comfort in a relationship,” Asatryan wrote. “When you start butting heads, it means you no longer feel it necessary to always say the ‘right’ thing—which is a good thing for the longevity of the relationship.”
She also notes that getting a little peeved about your partner can mean you’re still emotionally invested in the relationship, whereas if you were to simply not care anymore it could mean you’ve theoretically checked out of the relationship, signaling issues later on down the road.
Another reason why annoyances can benefit a relationship is because these little ticks may offer a glimpse into what can be improved upon by each individual. For example, if your hubby forgot to grab milk on his way home (again) it may “point toward a deeper issue,” such as his irresponsibility. Now, we’re not suggesting you start a massive fight over a carton of milk, but it could be beneficial to dig deeper into why it’s annoying you and to communicate with your beau.
The main takeaway? At the end of the day, a little conflict is better than none at all.